Doin' the Butt!

People do the darndest things after they've taken a few (or twenty) swigs of an adult beverage. I was at a wack-as-hell new year's eve party, but was fortunate enough, in my bored and unimpressed state, to get pushed by THE drunkest girl in the party. This girl made sure she was the life of the party. She cleared a spot on the dance floor via flailing her arms like a frazzled soccer mom and gave us a show more exciting than the midnight countdown. Drunk Homegirl started doing dances I hadn't seen since my fast 14-year-old cousin taught them to me when I was eleven in '94. Kids, I'm talking the Dog, the Running Man, and of course the highlight: the Cry Baby!

But hey, at least she entertained herself and other party goers that night. Watch and be made whole, children.