Top Four: Joys of Retail Greeting

I'm finding myself back in retail...after I said I'd never go back. Not that I've gone back out of love, but out of necessity. However, that is neither here nor there...and my retail woes aren't the point of this post. Well, I take that back; they are the point of this post. Here are my TOP FOUR joys of retail services as they pertain to meeting & greeting; "hi, how are you" if you will:

• Answering without looking at me, because I really enjoy guestimating how many inches your highlights have grown out from the crown of your head and at how ill-fitting your pants are from the backside.
• ESL people (including ESL look-a-likes) who, when asked a question, cover their mouths, giggle and say "No English!" You know that I know that you know English as a Second Language because I heard you on the phone talmbout how you were "sooo drunk last night" at the bar with your American homegirl.
• Responding the wrong way when I ask you what you're looking for in the store. Nodding and saying "thank you" is NOT the correct answer! But, hey, that shows me you're really listening.
• And when you do respond to me, you're too important to acknowledge my presence, breeze past with a quick and crisp "Nope!" before I can greet you. Then, three minutes later, you're asking me "Where, how much, what other colors and sizes, etc." So, I politely ignore you, cus NOPE, you don't need any help!

Grandmas throwing shade in Ann Taylor just gives me some kind of rush! I almost can't wait til Christmas season!