You Haven't Felt Pain Til You've Had Hair Ripped From Your &#$$^ !!

Elvita is a very nice woman. She, my coochie & I have a special relationship. It's because she was kind, caring at a time when I was spread eagle on her table. But that was the end of her sweet spirit.

That lady pasted, rubbed and ripped like there was no tomorrow, and in her broken English, told me that I was to blame for my pain & suffering! Shame on her! Okay, so maybe some of my coochie sadness was my fault because I, as a result of my laziness, was going for the "Bohemian" look. She didn't have to call me out though. I don't care if it was only her and me in the room together.

Ladies, please stay on top of your grooming. Don't get lazy like me; let this be a warning!

That is all.

BAAALLLLSSSS DEEEEPP!!

I'm gonna stop being lazy! I'm 'bout to get BALLLLSSSSS DEEEEEEP up in this blog!

Girl, Why U Tryna be Cute?

I swear, I need to stop wearing cheap shoes. And I'm not being snobby when I say cheap, I mean cheap like, $6.99-unboxed-held-together-with-a-ziptie-on-sale-at-the-juniors'-store cheap. I was trying to be 'Girl U So Cute' in a casual dining restaurant in my fashion frugal teal high heels.

Walking from my booth to the bathroom wasn't a problem; I even got a little swagger in my step on the way back to the table.

So when I stood up to leave and grabbed my to-go container and that's when I felt the ball of my foot slide across the wood laminate flooring like I honoring MJ with a Moonwalk. My heel skid to the left, to the left. And, I almost fell. Thank Jesus from Nazereth that I didn't bust my butt in the middle of a crowed restaurant on a weekend night!

Let this be a lesson to you ladies given to you at my expense.

That is all.